Sperm is meant to be the easy bit - nope!
I think as a woman, especially a woman with endo, I always assumed the fertility problems would sit with me. My OH (other half) has children already and had elected to get a Vasectomy many years previously that he now wanted reversed as much as I did for us to have a baby, we researched clinics, found a surgeon and he assured us it had a 80-90% success rate, good odds we said - lets do it! Expensive yes but cheaper than IVF, then we can try naturally for as long as possible and if no good then we know its probably my endo and can see what happens from there - easy right? Wrong!
My OH's vasectomy was reversed early 2019, in a clinic a long way from home, really rather expensive and very owie for him - especially as they nicked an artery while they were in there, poor guy! The subsequent semen analysis came back a big fat negative, not low, none! Well crap.. now what! After the tears subsided and the disappointing phone calls - the "are you sure? Not even one" calls. We got in touch with our local clinic who recommended a further analysis as it can take a little bit longer to come back for some people, second analysis also nada! 3rd analysis was 3x as expensive as the last but they were going to centrifuge the sample (spin it around until the parts of it separate)... still nope! This was over a period of about 6 months, all the time we were trying naturally, taking all the right supplements, eating better and getting hacked off every time my period appeared. It's a very surreal feeling when they tell you that it isn't going to work naturally, we already had an idea of this but to hear the words out loud is a real blow.
We arranged our first full consultation with the clinic to look at next steps, trying to remain positive we go armed with a million questions and we learn that there are still options for us. OH can have a surgical sperm retrieval, this is where they pass a needle in to different parts of the testicles to extract at source, if they are in there this is how they find them. Poor man looked terrified but is agreeable, following this if they retrieve any they are to be frozen while we undertake IVF with ICSI and away we go. They make it seem oh so simple, it's actually all pretty daunting and it's all ridiculously expensive!
With the price a very real issue for us we decided to only look at the next step at this point, the sperm retrieval (SSR) - if they got sperm we have to save like crazy for the IVF, look at other cheaper clinics, check out success rates and decide who to use that we can afford. If they didn't find any sperm, well... back to the drawing board, do we/don't we use a donor or go to adoption etc. A lot of questions that were too big to ask in the what if stage!
So off for the SSR - OH got gowned up and ready for theatre, really quite nervous, both of us re the outcome and him re the pain, it's fair to say his balls have been through the ringer! They come and take him away and 45 minutes later I hear a nurse saying "it's ok sir, it's all done now", eventually they wheel him back in high as a kite, chattering away and he looks at me and says "Oh Hey! They got them", I'm like excuse me what? I ask him again and he says "So how are you?" .... I am on edge is how I am! What do you mean they've got them? Have they or is this your drug addled dreaming?
The nurse comes in and I ask her - "Yes" she tells me, "they have got some". Well that's it, the flood gates have opened and I am openly weeping, OH is ignoring the nurse trying to look after him, telling her hang on I need to hug her now! and all I can say is - I can have your baby! The clouds have parted, the fog has lifted, the doom and gloom is fading, we have sperm! I am going to have a baby somehow with the man I adore - meanwhile my gorgeous little morphine head is asking the nurse if his penis looks ok!
The nurse stutters over how she is sure his penis is perfectly good and he says he means the swelling and bleeding, she goes red, I am too deliriously happy that we have sperm to do anything but laugh and hand himself biscuits and eventually we are released to take him home and nurse him better.
Recovery was a bit slow, he kept feeling faint and sick, a particular woozy moment sat on the stairs where I genuinely thought he was going to end up in an ambulance but after a couple of days he was on the mend, The clinic called us the next day, our sperm had managed the freeze and thaw well and we had 5 straws safely in their freezer, potentially enough for 5 rounds, we were elated. The sperm is now the easy bit!
My OH's vasectomy was reversed early 2019, in a clinic a long way from home, really rather expensive and very owie for him - especially as they nicked an artery while they were in there, poor guy! The subsequent semen analysis came back a big fat negative, not low, none! Well crap.. now what! After the tears subsided and the disappointing phone calls - the "are you sure? Not even one" calls. We got in touch with our local clinic who recommended a further analysis as it can take a little bit longer to come back for some people, second analysis also nada! 3rd analysis was 3x as expensive as the last but they were going to centrifuge the sample (spin it around until the parts of it separate)... still nope! This was over a period of about 6 months, all the time we were trying naturally, taking all the right supplements, eating better and getting hacked off every time my period appeared. It's a very surreal feeling when they tell you that it isn't going to work naturally, we already had an idea of this but to hear the words out loud is a real blow.
We arranged our first full consultation with the clinic to look at next steps, trying to remain positive we go armed with a million questions and we learn that there are still options for us. OH can have a surgical sperm retrieval, this is where they pass a needle in to different parts of the testicles to extract at source, if they are in there this is how they find them. Poor man looked terrified but is agreeable, following this if they retrieve any they are to be frozen while we undertake IVF with ICSI and away we go. They make it seem oh so simple, it's actually all pretty daunting and it's all ridiculously expensive!
With the price a very real issue for us we decided to only look at the next step at this point, the sperm retrieval (SSR) - if they got sperm we have to save like crazy for the IVF, look at other cheaper clinics, check out success rates and decide who to use that we can afford. If they didn't find any sperm, well... back to the drawing board, do we/don't we use a donor or go to adoption etc. A lot of questions that were too big to ask in the what if stage!
So off for the SSR - OH got gowned up and ready for theatre, really quite nervous, both of us re the outcome and him re the pain, it's fair to say his balls have been through the ringer! They come and take him away and 45 minutes later I hear a nurse saying "it's ok sir, it's all done now", eventually they wheel him back in high as a kite, chattering away and he looks at me and says "Oh Hey! They got them", I'm like excuse me what? I ask him again and he says "So how are you?" .... I am on edge is how I am! What do you mean they've got them? Have they or is this your drug addled dreaming?
The nurse comes in and I ask her - "Yes" she tells me, "they have got some". Well that's it, the flood gates have opened and I am openly weeping, OH is ignoring the nurse trying to look after him, telling her hang on I need to hug her now! and all I can say is - I can have your baby! The clouds have parted, the fog has lifted, the doom and gloom is fading, we have sperm! I am going to have a baby somehow with the man I adore - meanwhile my gorgeous little morphine head is asking the nurse if his penis looks ok!
The nurse stutters over how she is sure his penis is perfectly good and he says he means the swelling and bleeding, she goes red, I am too deliriously happy that we have sperm to do anything but laugh and hand himself biscuits and eventually we are released to take him home and nurse him better.
Recovery was a bit slow, he kept feeling faint and sick, a particular woozy moment sat on the stairs where I genuinely thought he was going to end up in an ambulance but after a couple of days he was on the mend, The clinic called us the next day, our sperm had managed the freeze and thaw well and we had 5 straws safely in their freezer, potentially enough for 5 rounds, we were elated. The sperm is now the easy bit!
Comments
Post a Comment